cant wait until i get cuddled to sleep every night by the love of my life
I am so sick of seeing women
shoved into categories: “intelligent”,
“beautiful”, “funny”, “successful.”
If she can fit into all of them, she is
a hero, a role model, a surprise
to all of us. But the same women that
made me think have also made me laugh
and do a double take on the street.
They were not magnificent, didn’t come with
their own crown. They were just people, breathing
and running about their days like everybody else.
I am so sick of having to be overjoyed
when inspirational women are stamped
onto the cover of magazines. “We did it!” I am
supposed to exclaim, like I too am
surprised each time a woman
accomplishes something worth writing about.
But being extraordinary comes with the title
of “woman.” Your labeling is just slow to the game.
- take a morning or evening a week to breathe. the weight of the world is heavy and you’ll start taking your frustration out on the people who love you if you don’t take a minute for yourself.
- make lists. lists for shopping, for food, for exercising, for things to achieve, anything. there’s not much that’s more satisfying than ticking things off a list.
- if you’re feeling heavy, try and brush your teeth and hair and get up and walk around your room, maybe even shower. you don’t have to achieve anything else that day.
- try and be better. we all make mistakes but they don’t define us. leave your guilt in 2018 and move forward with an abundance of knowledge.
- it’s okay to go awol every now and then. if you need to throw your phone across the room and not look at it for a week, that’s fine. remember that those who care about you might worry, so a heads up when you need some air might be nice.
- write things down. on your phone or in a book, just make notes. how that cute waiter made your tummy turn or how incredible that soup tasted, or even an outfit you wore one day that made you feel bomb. it’s good to have things to remember.
- take pictures. don’t let the obsession with your phone get in the way of enjoying real life moments, but take a second to capture something if you can.
- stop thinking that you’re better than everyone else. if someone really gets down to Disney films or absolutely adores mainstream music, let them. if someone thinks that the only way they can possibly post an Instagram photo is if it’s got a certain filter on it, let them. all I’m saying is let people like what they like. you don’t have to like it too, but bringing people down because of what makes them happy is a nasty way to behave.
- judging people is only human. we do it the second we see someone. let’s try to think more about our afterthought. for example, “oh that man needs to lose some weight….. wait actually, I have no right to judge his body just cos it doesn’t look like mine.” human nature is cruel and condescending, so if we pay more attention to our moral compass than our snap judgements, you’ll start to change the way you think in a positive way.
- stop dieting. it’s not a fast track to weight loss, it’s damaging to your mental health. leave calorie counting and meal skipping in the past and enjoy that last slice of pizza.
- give people a break. constantly feeling as though our actions are being judged makes us even harder on ourselves. be supportive and constructive rather than judgemental and harsh.
- be impulsive. shave your head for charity, buy that expensive coat, go to a gig midweek, take a trip at the last minute. you’ll kick yourself later if you realise you spent your teens and 20s not taking any risks.
- build bridges. friendships come and go but the door is very rarely shut. reach out to people you feel as though you’ve lost and see what happens. the feeling of reconnecting with an old friend is nothing short of magical.
- you don’t have to have it all figured out now. go to interviews, apply for school, take a month off to sort things out. plans change and so do you, so just make sure you’re moving forward not backwards, however fast or slow that may be.
- enjoy it. the years roll around so quickly, make sure you actually enjoy this one.
lots of love from H x x x
The only thing I’ll be kissing on new years is this hell year goodbye